By: Sir. Henry Mahugu

Our journey in life is marked by seasons and milestones. With an expected lifespan of around 70 years, it makes sense to plan with intention. As Psalms 90:12 reminds us, “Teach me to number our days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom.” Every seven years can be seen as a milestone—an opportunity to assess our progress and set new goals.

Understanding Life’s Seasons

Life is not a straight path but a series of seasons. From the moment we leave school at 21, every decision shapes our future. Working backwards from the idea of a 70-year life:

  • Retirement and Family Planning: If we imagine retiring at 50 and having our last child by 28, then the years between 21 and 28 become critical for planning, learning, and personal development.
  • Early Decisions: The period between 17 and 21 is a time to experiment, understand oneself, and build a vision for the future.

These phases encourage us to be intentional with our decisions, including the significant one of choosing a life partner.

Timing and Milestones

Consider the idea that each block of 7 years represents a key phase of life:

  • Youth (17–21): Discover who you are, develop your passions, and begin envisioning your future.
  • Early Adulthood (21–28): Set the foundation for your career, relationships, and long-term goals.
  • Mid-Life and Beyond: As you continue, the choices made earlier—especially in selecting a life partner—play a crucial role in your ongoing story.

By planning with the time you have, you recognize that every decision counts. Embrace the mindset of using what is available to you now to secure a fulfilling future.

Expectation vs. Reality

One of the primary challenges in choosing a life partner is navigating the gap between expectation and reality. Conflicts often arise when idealized images meet the real, complex nature of human character. It’s important to:

  • Embrace Imperfection: Understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
  • Communicate Openly: Honest conversations can bridge the gap between what is hoped for and what is real.
  • Grow Together: Relationships are a journey of mutual growth and learning, not just a static agreement.

Self-Identification and Embracing Diversity

A key biblical insight comes from Amos 3:3: “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” This highlights the importance of shared values and mutual understanding. Recognize that:

  • You Carry the Image of God: Each person is uniquely created and brings inherent worth to the relationship.
  • Appreciate Differences: Embracing varied personalities and backgrounds enriches the partnership.
  • Be Genuine: Let your authentic self shine—what you see is what you get. This transparency is the foundation of a lasting relationship.

The Role of Faith

Faith can be the guiding light in every aspect of life, including choosing a life partner. Scripture provides essential advice:

  • 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…” This encourages aligning with someone who shares your spiritual values.
  • Romans 12:1-2: Be transformed by renewing your mind and not conforming to the patterns of this world.

Pray, fast, and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit as you navigate this significant decision. Trust that God will open your eyes and heart to His will.

Practical Exercise: The Watch Exercise

As a creative and practical exercise, choose a watch that you like. Notice details such as the color and design of its alphabet. Reflect on these points:

  1. Personal Taste: What does the watch say about your personality and style?
  2. Placement in the Diagram: Imagine a diagram where different colors or styles represent various life paths or milestones. Consider where you fit and how this exercise might symbolize your approach to relationships.
  3. A Conversation Starter: Use this exercise as a way to share insights about your values and vision with someone you might consider as a life partner.

Conclusion

Choosing a life partner is a multifaceted decision that involves thoughtful planning, self-awareness, and faith. By understanding the seasons of life, balancing expectation with reality, embracing who you truly are, and seeking spiritual guidance, you set the stage for a fulfilling partnership. Always remember have a plan, trust in God’s timing, and let every decision be a step toward a wiser, more purpose-driven life.

May you walk confidently in your journey, knowing that each decision brings you closer to a relationship that reflects the divine image within both you and your partner.